


Five Times Tahani and Eleanor Were Interrupted

by punch_kicker15



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: 5 Things, Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Character of Color, F/F, Good Place Reboot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:13:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27236299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punch_kicker15/pseuds/punch_kicker15
Summary: In one of the Season 2 failed reboots, Tahani attempts to connect with her soulmate, Eleanor, but something or someone keeps interrupting them.
Relationships: Tahani Al-Jamil/Eleanor Shellstrop
Comments: 19
Kudos: 110
Collections: Femslash Exchange 2020





	Five Times Tahani and Eleanor Were Interrupted

**Author's Note:**

  * For [why_didnt_i_get_any_soup](https://archiveofourown.org/users/why_didnt_i_get_any_soup/gifts).



**One**

Tahani walked towards the ridiculously tiny house, bursting with curiosity about her soulmate. There were several worthy candidates in her mind, but none of them were dead yet, as far as she knew. “Is it someone I know?” she asked. 

“No,” Michael said. “The two of you have _never_ met before.” 

A waifish blonde woman opened the door. The house was decorated in a curious combination of Icelandic Primitive furnishings and hideous clown paintings. 

“This is your soulmate, Tahani,” Michael said to the woman, with an awkward wave of his hand. “Tahani, this is Eleanor. She was a human rights attorney and an environmental activist.” 

“Oh, that’s very . . . impressive,” Tahani said. Was there a reason that Michael hadn’t brought up Tahani’s accomplishments? 

Eleanor gave Tahani a once-over. “Wow, you guys really know what I like, I’ll give you that.” 

Tahani plastered on a gracious smile while her mind raced. _This is my soulmate? Really?_

She’d been with women before, but no one resembling this tiny slip of a thing. She’d spent her life snogging swans, and Michael had presented her with a chickadee as her soulmate for all eternity. 

After Michael left, Eleanor took Tahani’s hands, looked deep into her eyes, and asked, “Tahani. My scorchingly-hot soulmate. You'll stand by my side no matter what, right?” 

“Of course I will!” Tahani promised. “I’m so glad you trust me. Is it about your hair? I’m sure Janet can help with touching up your roots. Also, that billowy blouse isn’t doing you any favors. I know you’re not cursed with an ample bosom, but you could choose some clothes that accentuate what you have. Look at some photos of my good friend Natalie Portman. She’s an expert at picking styles that make something out of just about nothing.” 

“Cool, thanks.” Eleanor scrunched her face up and dropped Tahani’s hands. She walked over to one of those dreadful clown paintings, muttering something under her breath. 

“Was there something you wanted to ask--” Tahani’s question was cut off by a thunderous crash. A giraffe burst through the ceiling, sending plaster and wood in every direction. Tahani and her soulmate careened out of the house, just before a herd of giraffes descended upon it, their piercing screams echoing through the neighborhood. 

**Two**

A few days after the giraffes had dispersed, the house had finally been restored to its odd and quaint normality. Tahani decided that she’d try to connect with Eleanor again. Her soulmate hadn’t responded to Tahani’s constructive criticisms. (If anything, Eleanor’s roots looked darker than they had before their little chat, and today she was practically swimming in a blue jumper two sizes too large). Michael had told Tahani that it sometimes took months and a lot of effort for soulmates to bond properly. 

Tahani straightened a throw blanket on the sofa so that it dangled at an aesthetically pleasing angle. “I was wondering if you ever met my dear friend Malala in the course of your activism, or your legal career?” 

Eleanor twisted a strand of hair around her finger, and for a moment Tahani wondered what it would be like to run her hands through it. Eleanor said, “Uh, I mean, I’ve heard of Mazola—who wouldn’t have, right? But I was always so busy, between work and volunteering, and we never managed to be---in the same place at the same time. But I’m a huge fan, as anyone in my position would be.” 

“She’s a wonderful woman,” Tahani said. “So courageous and giving. I remember one time when we--” 

Chidi burst through the door. “Eleanor, you have to come. Now. It’s a, uh, legal, emergency.” 

“In the Good Place?” Tahani asked, aghast. Surely good people could resolve any problems without resorting to a legal system. 

“There are some, erm, difficulties with some giant Twizzlers falling from the sky. I know it sounds odd, but I think they might respond to legal, erm, intervention,” Chidi said, clutching his stomach. 

“I’ll get right on it, dude!” Eleanor exclaimed. 

“Shall I go with you?” Perhaps this would be the moment of connection, Tahani thought. 

“Oh, no,” Eleanor said. “It’ll be really dry and boring, just legal--paperwork. No sexy bailiffs at all.” She rushed out of the house, leaving Tahani alone with her thoughts. 

It was a little disappointing that they didn’t have an acquaintance in common. Eleanor had toiled all her life in service to others, and yet her path didn’t cross with Malala’s. Was that a sign that Tahani’s social circle was narrower than she thought? 

**Three**

Tahani gazed pensively through the window at the cactus garden outside. Fashion tips and shared social circles hadn’t worked to turn Tahani and Eleanor into one of those perfect soulmate couples, like Chidi and Vicky. 

Eleanor was home this morning, instead of on one of her mysterious errands, and Tahani was nothing if not persistent. 

“Who are your favorite artists, darling?” Tahani gazed down at Eleanor, who was curled up on the sofa, reading a book. 

“Isn’t it obvious? The forking genius who painted all those clowns,” Eleanor said, without looking up from her book. 

“Surely there must be others?” This could be a way to get closer to Eleanor and get the décor of the house changed in one fell swoop. 

“Um, I’m sure you know more about this than me.” Eleanor brow furrowed as she turned the pages of her book. “Moral particularism?” she muttered under her breath. 

“I don’t think that’s art--” Tahani began, just as Janet pinged into existence, much closer than she usually did. 

“It's Mort Walker!” Janet chirped. She swayed from side to side in an odd, irregular rhythm. 

“That was a question for Eleanor, not you,” Tahani said, as crossly as one could to an automated servant. 

“But I know this one! He drew Beetle Bailey. I saw Eleanor’s Facebook entry on July 24, 2015 at 8:30-ish, and she was like ‘that Miss Buxley, with her long hair and her rack of doom—yowza.’” Janet lurched towards Eleanor. “You’re pretty,” she mumbled. “Can I paint your nails?” 

As Janet invaded Eleanor’s space, a familiar discomfort curled up in Tahani’s chest. 

“I’ll go get Michael,” Eleanor said, right before the knock on the door. 

Tahani answered it. “Michael, speak of the devil.” 

“Er, what do you mean?” Michael blinked rapidly, his hand fluttering up to his chest. 

“Relax. It’s a—what's that called? Figment of speech. It means we were just talking about you,” Eleanor said. 

“Oh! I get it now.” Michael lowered his hand. “Anyway, I’m so sorry about Janet. I just found out some _ding-a-ling_ gave her a gift of magnetic earrings.” 

Janet beamed. “Magnets make me loopy,” she said, as Michael ushered her out of the house. 

Tahani was left to assess the tightness in her chest. It was envy, of course. But she wasn’t sure who’d caused it. Was it Eleanor, for being pretty enough to catch Janet’s eye, despite Eleanor's utterly inadequate skincare regimen? Or was it Janet, who got to fawn over Eleanor, and had the convenient excuse of being drunk on magnets? 

**Four**

After Janet had sobered up, Tahani made some discreet inquiries about this “Beetle Bailey” fellow, and the answer left her more confused than ever. 

_I’m sure you know more about this than me._

This could be either a sincere description of Eleanor’s rubbish taste in art, or what Tahani’s godsister, Chrissy Teigen, called a “complinsult.” If Eleanor meant it as a complinsult, then she meant that it was a bit gauche to engage with the beauty of the world, when there were so many that needed help. 

That might be a valid criticism in the real world, but surely there was no harm in appreciating art in The Good Place. Their needs were already met, and time was no longer limited. Eleanor herself spent quite a lot of time reading. 

Tahani stole a glance at Eleanor, who was curled up on the sofa, the light hitting her hair at just the right angle to make it primrose-yellow. “What are you reading?” 

“ _Ethics Without Principles_ by Jonathan Dancy,” Eleanor said. 

That made no sense. “How can you have ethics without principles?” 

Eleanor shifted up and sat cross-legged on the sofa. “He’s taking a lot of words to get there, but I think it means that you have to analyze the entire situation--” 

There was a knock at the door. Tahani could have wept. It felt like Eleanor was _finally_ opening up to her about one of her interests. 

“Sorry to interrupt, but there’s an emergency party situation!” Michael leaned against the door, hyperventilating. 

“Slow breaths, dude,” Eleanor said. 

Michael straightened up and tugged on his jacket nervously. “It’s Gayle’s birthday party! Gunnar had everything set up at his mansion, and one of those glitches happened and to make a long story short, the house has been split into about twelve different dimensions, and it didn’t divide it into neat party-activity sections. Desserts are halfway in one dimension, and three quarters of the way into another! I know the math doesn’t make sense, but that’s just how it is right now. You’ve got to help us, Tahani!” 

“Of course I will! I had only twenty minutes to plan my good friend Selena’s quinceanera without making my other friend Miley jealous. They played rivals on a Disney TV show, but I won’t say which one. Needless to say, it went off without a hitch. I shan’t let you down.” 

Tahani beamed. At last, a chance to prove herself as a caring, helpful person, worthy of a soulmate as accomplished as Eleanor. And it was in her area of expertise! This would be the finest party The Good Place had ever seen. 

**Five**

A few hours later, Tahani sat on the bedroom floor, bits of exploded kouign amanns stuck to her hair. 

Eleanor sat down beside her and started to wrap an arm around Tahani’s bare shoulder. 

Tahani flinched. “Don’t! I’m dreadfully sticky.” 

“I don’t care,” Eleanor said, squeezing Tahani’s shoulder tightly. “I think the party went really well, up to the point where half the guests got imprisoned in the giant champagne bubble.” 

Tahani crossed her arms over her chest, trying hard not to cry. Chidi and the others had survived the fall when the bubble broke, and that was really all that should matter. But she couldn’t shake the pernicious feeling of failure. “I suppose if one were inclined to overlook major disasters--” She shook her head, too dejected to continue. 

“Hey, listen to me, hot stuff. None of these glitches are your fault. They’ve been happening everywhere, and—no one knows why.” Eleanor waved her free hand in the direction of the wreckage. “The stuff that you _did_ have control over--the decorations, the games, the pastries with everyone’s initials engraved on them—that was impressive.” 

Tahani’s face flushed. “Oh, well, I suppose, it might not be quite as important as your work on Earth.” 

“Well--” Eleanor’s voice trailed off as Jianyu padded into the room. Had he been here the whole time? 

With an elaborate flourish, he handed Eleanor a note. 

Eleanor scooted away to take a quick peek at it. She said, “Babe, are you ok here? I need to help Jianyu with something and then I’ll be right back to help with clean-up.” 

Jianyu said, “Thanks, homie. Oh shirt, I’m not supposed to talk in front of her, right? I’m out of here.” He raced to the door, then made a running leap over the threshold, his arms outstretched. “BORTLES!” 

Tahani wasn’t sure what was more shocking: Jianyu speaking, or Jianyu speaking in such a peculiar dialect, a bizarre mishmash of multiple American accents. Her gaze settled on Eleanor, and she realized that the most shocking thing was that Eleanor looked decidedly unfazed by this turn of events. 

“Jianyu’s not a monk, is he?” Tahani asked. 

Eleanor shifted from foot to foot, avoiding eye contact. “I gotta level with you. He’s a fraud and so am I. We got here by mistake. Jason and I are two peas in the trashbag pod.” 

Eleanor was a fraud. For the first time ever, Tahani didn't have to worry about measuring up to an impossible ideal. 

Tahani closed the distance between them. “I think that’s just forking perfect,” she said, pulling Eleanor in for a kiss. 


End file.
